Just wanted to let everyone know, that I'm at home with my mother and stepfather for the time being. I had to come back from Job Corps on 'medical separation', which basically means that I have a six month window in order to get healthy again and return. If not, my fifty-five percent completion of my CNA trade will disappear, and I will have to start from scratch. Lovely, isn't it?
Basically, during the summer I learned that I contracted an STI known as HPV, (human papillomavirus). At first, I thought the most I had to worry about was genital warts...but that wasn't the case. I ended up having pre-cancerous cells, and abnormal areas of tissue on my cervix and the surrounding areas.
My gynecologist had me do a cervical LEEP, which is a surgery that removed a portion of my cervix in order to remove abnormal tissue and for further testing. They also cauterized the surrounding abnormal tissue, and so that was hopefully it.
I went to Job Corps in Texas, with instructions from my doctor to do a follow up pap test within four months. I felt fine, and was doing well with my trade and getting settled into the routine and life that was now my present. Then, it came time for my follow up pap. Took it, and the results came back...and they weren't what I hoped.
The results showed that I now had high lesions, and clear signs that I am cancerous. I have cervical cancer. Damn.
To be honest, I'm scared, stressed, angry at myself for not being more careful about my partners, wishing I'd done things differently, and I can't do anything. Not only that, but I recently learned that my grandmother Debbie died of cervical cancer. I know it's not genetic, but it still worries.
The good news is, that it was found early with me, and I have a better chance.
This Friday, I'm going to my doctor to discuss my options. Yet, I already know what it is that I'm going to do. After the initial shock, I did some research, and decided that I want to have a hysterectomy. The reason I chose this operation is that it not only has a better chance of removing all cancerous or abnormal tissue, but has a quicker recovery time then if I did chemotherapy or radiation. I had to consider not only my best chance of removing the cancer, but also how quickly I can recover in order to return to Job Corps so that I can continue with my trade training, and begin a second trade and finish it, too.
The upsides; I will hopefully remove all cancer and lower the chance of it returning, have no more periods, and survive.
The downsides; I will go through forced menopause, learn to deal with a loss of most of my body's ability to produce necessary hormones, and not be able to have children.
That's the part that saddens me the most, but it's okay. I'd rather be alive and able to adopt or become a foster parent, than be sickly and attempt to have children with a body that could cause me to miscarry or infect them with HPV.
I just wanted to share what was going on with everyone, not only to inform my friends and loved ones, but to let others learn from my mistake. I regret not being more careful, because my carelessness has led me to lose so much.
Hopefully, others may learn from my wrongs, and avoid this outcome.
Thank you for reading, and feel free to share this with others, because I feel that more people need to understand just how costly sharing yourself can be.
It's not just your virginity or you body you're giving away, but possibly you life. Think about it.
Listening to: All My Music (from Country to Rock to J-pop)
Reading: Webcomics/Yaoi and BL Manga
Watching: Mostly whatever shows amuse me!
Playing: With fate I suppose. . .
Eating: Pasta and Coconut-Ginger Sugar Cookies I baked.